she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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