Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize