How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
