We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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