This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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