So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize