I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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