my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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