great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
