we have pet lesbian snakes
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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