sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize