this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
