Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
