I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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