Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
