At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize