hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex