Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.