New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
