Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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