strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
