he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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