If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
