I got chris browned last night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize