I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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