So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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