i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Soap is not a condiment
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
