Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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