So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
