How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
