i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize