it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize