I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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