The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
