At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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