Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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