He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
