Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
