It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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