to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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