remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They took my balls.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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