You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize