Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize