Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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