Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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