i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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