You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
