Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
