Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
