Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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