apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Send help, water and tortillas.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
